Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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