Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
