Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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