Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
