Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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