Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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