How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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