On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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