next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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