it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
