Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
