Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
