I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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