Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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