Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
My vagina just recognized that song.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
