I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
