I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
