GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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