come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Send help, water and tortillas.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
