Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
