I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Are we still banned from the library?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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