I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
