Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize