i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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