It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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