Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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