im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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