I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
