For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
