dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
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