You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
