YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
