I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
