He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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