yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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