I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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