hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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