***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
