I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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