Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I am naked and annoyed.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
