remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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