Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize