4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
