I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
