she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
