I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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