Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
