i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
