Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you traded sex for a burrito?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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