so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
