im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
