Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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