Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
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