I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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