Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
