I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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