Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
