where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Randomize
