Me too!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize