And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
