Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Don't make out with my wife yet
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
