I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We have started to decorate penises.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
