im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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