Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
